At this point, it’s hard to not know at least a little bit about Assassin’s Creed. The huge franchise has grown incredibly from its humble beginnings and by now the Assassin’s hood and hidden blade are iconic images in the minds of gamers. Still, this begs the question: what do we, as gamers, really know about the characters that we know as Assassins? Why are they so revered? Why are they so omnipresent? What makes them so iconic? These are likely questions that gamers have been itching to answer because, for as cool as they are, not everything about them lines up. Here are 10 things that make no sense about the Assassins.
10 Their Weapons
Assassins need to be well equipped for whatever mission they set out to complete. That said, sometimes their weapon choice doesn’t quite make sense. Sure, periods like the Crusades or the Italian Renaissance work for swords and throwing knives and, of course, the hidden blade. But what about periods like the industrial revolution in England? Or even the modern-day? Sometimes the weapons just feel a little out of place. Don’t get us wrong, we understand the appeal of a hidden blade, but Daniel Cross may have said it best in Assassin’s Creed III: “It’s the 21st Century and you’re still running around with only a tiny knife for protection?”
9 Their Hideouts
Normally when you think of a secret organization, you also think of a secret base. You know, access codes, secret entrances, that sort of thing. The Assassins, unfortunately, don’t do as good of a job. While there certainly is an aspect one of the Creed’s main tenants, “hide in plain sight,” sometimes players can’t help but wonder why they couldn’t have leaned a bit more into the whole secret organization thing. The Levantine Brotherhood had a towering fortress, the Italian Brotherhood had an entire town, and the Colonial Assassins used the biggest house on the Frontier. Come on, Assassins; have some imagination!
8 Freerunning
Okay, so has anyone ever addressed the fact that every Assassin just knows how to freerun? In the first game it was refreshing; like refining one of the Prince of Persia’s most noteworthy mechanics. Now, though? It’s a bit of a headscratcher. Does everyone that becomes initiated into the Brotherhood take a parkour class? Or is it more a matter of having the skill beforehand? Either way seems a little convenient that leaping from rooftops is just standard procedure. What about an Assassin that walks like a normal person?
7 Eagle Vision
This is another Assassin talent that doesn’t quite get explained as well as we’d like. It’s not that the ability isn’t useful because it certainly is, but why can everyone just…do this? The canonical explanation is that it’s a dormant ability in humans due to human/Isu interbreeding, but it’s consistently so different to the point that it makes no sense. Kassandra and Bayek could see through the eyes of an eagle companion, Ezio could see people in colors that reflected their allegiance, and the Frye twins can rebuild crime scenes like the best CSIs ever. This ability is so inconsistent across the games, though, and it makes no sense how every protagonist is just able to do it.
6 Their Outfits
Hide in plain sight is one of the main tenants of the creed, and yet those hoods sometimes make the Assassins stick out like sore thumbs. Listen, it’s not that they aren’t cool; they are. That part is undeniable and indisputable. They are also, however, a bit obvious, especially considering its only assassins that ever have their hoods up. From a video game perspective, we completely get it. From a practicality perspective, however, cool doesn’t quite lend itself to the Assassin’s cause. One standout example of the hood and blade look being theatrical at best is in Assassin’s Creed IV: Black Flag. Governor Torres mentions in his letter to Duncan Walpole (the same letter stolen in the opening sequence by Edward Kenway) that “I believe I can recognize the costume made infamous by your secret order.” So much for “Hide in plain sight.”
5 The Memory Corridor
You know that moment when the protagonist’s blade enters their target and reality screeches to a halt? The victim gets a fleeting few seconds to say their last words before the Assassin gives them their last rites. It’s very effective for driving home the narrative point of each game, but practically? Connor just leaped onto his target into a literal military encampment. He shouldn’t have the time to be grappling with dying templars about the definition of peace.
The game may try and justify this as an Animus thing, and for the sake of the game we’re okay with accepting that, but we can’t help but wonder what it’s like being the protagonist’s place as soon as the memory corridor dissipates. That can’t be fun.
4 Teamwork
Does anyone remember the cinematic trailer for Assassin’s Creed Unity? The one where Arno is overlooking a riot in progress and three other unnamed assassins join him? We see them utilize the riot as cover to carry out their own mission, but more importantly, we see four assassins working in tandem to achieve their goal. From a narrative standpoint, though…well, the Assassins tend to be soloists more than anything. Sure, Ezio had recruits that he could use to take out random enemies and Connor had a handful of talented recruits as well, but it’s so very rare that we see Assassins working together in more than just a supportive fashion. It would just be something nice to see a bit more often. After all, teamwork makes the dream work, right?
3 Their Past
Veterans of the series will know exactly what we mean here: not past in the sense of Bayek in Ptolemic Egypt or anything, but past in the sense of the Isu. More specifically, the Assassin tie-in. We get that the Isu are the advanced precursors and creators of humans per the Assassin’s Creed narrative, and we know that throughout the series the artifacts they left behind before their extinction are incredibly valuable to both the Assassins and the Templars. The big question, though, is…is that it? Is there not a deeper connection? Is there not more of a reason that the Isu are so involved with the secret Assassin-Templar conflict? If there is, that hasn’t been made clear and makes that aspect of the story probably the most difficult to follow.
2 Their Horses
Of all the things that fans of the Assassin’s Creed series tolerate, this one is probably the silliest. The Assassin horses that are in so many games. The ones that appear with a whistle from seemingly out of thin air seem to be masters of stealth in their own right. While we certainly won’t complain about the convenience of a faster method of travel when necessary (because seriously, who wants to just walk around the American Frontier or the Egyptian desert?) it’s just a little bit questionable that they’re always ready. Maybe the Assassins have a secret horse division that we don’t know about.
1 Their Creed
Of course, the most glaringly obvious thing about the Assassins that makes no sense is the namesake of the series: their creed. The Assassins work in the dark to serve the light, a contradiction that manifests itself in the form of them killing people that they determine to be bad. It’s one of those things that’s so in your face and yet so under the radar at the same time that you don’t even question that the killers that operate through blind faith to a strict set of rules may be exemplifying the very thing they claim to be fighting against. Altair claimed these to be the three ironies and on this list of things that make no sense about the Assassins, we are inclined to agree.
NEXT: Assassin’s Creed: 5 Times Templars Were Evil (& 5 Times Assassins Were)
